Helping and Teaching Children to make Good choices
“If a child doesn’t know how to read, we teach.”
“If a child doesn’t know how to swim, we teach.”
“If a child doesn’t know how to multiply, we teach.”
“If a child doesn’t know how to drive, we teach.”
“If a child doesn’t know how to behave, we……..... ……….teach?………punish?”
- Tom Herner (NASDE President ) Counterpoint 1998, p.2
At Kai Iwi School we have been implementing some new ways of working with Children to set expectations and repair relationships, when they make a poor decision. The methods we have brought into the School are founded on research and successful practice from other Schools.
As a School we believe that relationships are vital to a healthy child and community. So when we need to correct or teach a behaviour we understand that it needs to be done in a way that maintains and develops positive relationships.
We use four main sets of questions when an incident occurs at School where someone has been hurt. There are also some supporting questons that can be used as needed.
What. What happen? (Tell the story)
- What were you thinking at the time
- What have you thought about since?
- If there was a video on the wall, wht would it have seen?
- How does that fit with our values?
Affected: Who do you think has been Affected? Who else? (We explore the harm)
- In what ways?
- Was this fair or unfair?
- Was this the right or wrong thing to do?
- If you were in their shoes, how would you be feeling?
Repair: What do we need to do to put things right? (Repair the harm)
- What else might need to happen?
- Tell me more about this.
- What exactly are you appologisig for?
- How will this help?
- When can this happen?
- What des sorry look like from here?
Move Forward: How do we make sure that this doesn’t happen again?
- What do you need to start doing, stop doing or stay doing?
- Wat are your goals to help you move forward?
- What other support do you need?
- If this happens again, what do you think should happen next?
By doing this we Repair the relationship, hold children accountable for their behavior, develop responsibility and resilience, reduce the likelihood of the behavior reoccurring, and teach children how to repair relationships themselves so that teacher intervention is needed less often.